LOVE IS LIKE ANY OTHER EMOTION

Human beings experience a number of emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, excitement, hatred, etc. These emotions are felt by everybody throughout the world, across different cultures.

The emotion of love (romantic love) is also something that is experienced by many people and is very common all over the world. People who are in love describe it as an amazingly satisfying feeling that gives them immense happiness. Many of those who are not in love desire to experience that feeling and wait for that one special person with whom they would want to spend their entire life.

There is this delusion of true love that some people have. They take the feeling of love as the ultimate thing in life and give it the utmost importance. Because of this they orient their whole life according to this feeling of love. They have the false belief that love lasts forever and that they can live happily with that one so-called special person for the rest of their life. This belief may not necessarily be true all the time.

Just like we fall in love, we also fall out of love. This means that love does not last forever and after a certain period of time the love that we have for a person may begin to fade away and eventually die out.

There can be a number of reasons for this. One of the reasons is boredom. Human beings always like change and dislike sameness. The qualities that a person likes about his/her lover may soon become something that is routine and run of the mill. A person might get bored with being with the same person and the same old qualities of that person that were once responsible for them to fall in love with each other. Those same qualities may also even begin to irritate that person to quite an extent. This continuing for a longer period of time leads the person to ultimately fall out of love.

It is not that once the love between two people dies out it is the end of the road for them. Things can be worked out between the two. Efforts can be made by both to recreate that magic when they initially fell in love. Due to their efforts they can once again fall in love with each other and thus try to sustain the love they had for their lover. Erich Fromm used the term “standing in love” for this. He says that more than falling in love it is standing in love that is important. This is the only way that enables love to last longer.

However, standing in love is not an easy process and is something that does not happen very often. Despite that due to the delusion of true love, even when the love between them has died out, people still prefer to be with each other. The individual tries to hang on with that person desperately because he/she believes that that is the only person in the whole world who is made for him/her. This further causes problems, both within the relationship and the individuals themselves.

There are times when the couple decides to end the relationship. But since they believed that they had found true love it becomes very difficult for them to accept it. They find it really hard to get over the break up that they had. Because of this they get into phases of depression and also begin to lose interest in many other things. This can further lead to irritability and frustration.

Trying to continue a relationship that has no future or not being able to get over a broken relationship might take the person away from the possibility of accepting other pleasurable opportunities in life. There is always a possibility to fall in love again with another person, but that may not happen if the person is preoccupied with his/her own false beliefs. In this way, the person may be unknowingly moving further away from happiness that he/she may be getting. The delusion of true love and that one special person is not going to take the person any where.

The initial feeling of attraction with another person is magnetic and pulls the person into believing that he/she is in love without even thinking whether the relationship can work or not. Attraction and liking each other is not enough to have a long lasting relationship. There are many other aspects that are involved to make a relationship work out for a longer period of time. Compatibility, the amount of time that they can spend with each other, their own goals in life, and their future prospects are some of the things that needs to be considered before finally getting committed to a relationship.

It is better to withhold ones flow of emotions, initially, before getting fully committed to the relationship. All the aspects of the future of the relationship should be analyzed properly. Once a commitment is made then it becomes too late. Before getting into the relationship, if suppose an individual comes to the conclusion that there are too many complications within the relationship and that it may not have a future then he/she can always move on. Here the person saves himself/herself from a lot of troubles, like ending up with the wrong person, by wisely making a decision that the relationship may not work out.

Besides this, there is a strong possibility that the initial feeling of love may not even be love in the first place. The tremendous flow of emotions that occur when we initially meet a person and begin to like him/her, can make us falsely believe that we are falling in love with that person. Therefore, by withholding one's emotions, initially, can also make a person buy out some time and analyze properly whether or not the feeling that he/she is developing for the other person is actually love or something else. If he/she decides that it is just a liking and not love, then the individual prevents himself/herself in making a wrong decision and thus avoids further complications.

As mentioned above, there are people, especially adolescents and young adults, who orient their whole life according the feeling of love. Their whole life is guided by this one emotion. They neglect many other important aspects of life because of their feeling of love. They are willing to do anything to be with their lover.

For instance, they even choose a career path that is suitable for their love without even thinking that a career is chosen on the basis of aptitude and interest and not on the basis of their love. Choosing a wrong career for love is obviously an absolutely unwise decision, considering the fact that the love may not even last long enough. In the long run, career matters more than love.

Due to their being in love, many people give very little importance and even devalue other relationships like friends and family. Love comes and goes away, but friends and family (especially parents and siblings) are always there. Giving more value to love can make others unhappy and may lead to moving away from them. At the time when love gets over the person might end up being all alone and then it will be too late to regret.

Thus, efforts should be made to value all relationships equally. Giving more time to love and thus neglecting others can make them feel cheated and sad. There should be such an understanding between all the relationships that a comforting atmosphere is created. Giving more importance to love compared to other relationships can become dissatisfying and extremely stressful in the long run.

There is no doubt that the feeling of love is immensely pleasurable. It is indeed highly satisfying. But this does not mean that it should be given such a lot of importance. There are many other extremely important things in life, probably much more important and satisfying.

If love is given utmost importance then it leads to a lot of stress and becomes quite problematic. It can lead to dissatisfaction, depression, and a lot of complications. Love is meant to give a lot of happiness and not make the person end up in a lot of problems and make life complicated. Therefore, giving so much of importance to it is simply of no use at all.

Love should be taken like any other emotion. It should not be considered to be something that is very special. It should not be taken so seriously that it leads to self-deterioration and other problems in life. After all love is just another emotion.

The biggest problem in life is finding a meaning for it. A lot of us spend our lives distracted from pondering our eternal insignificance:

As children:We have a constant stream of immediate goals—proving ourselves mature enough to be left home alone, responsible enough to get a driver’s license, old enough to wear make-up or to shave

We struggle to acquire a driver’s license, a car, permission to date; to graduate from high school and attend college, to get a job, to get married, to have children. Then when the childhood come to an end, they consume every waking . At that point many of us suddenly find ourselves near the end of our lives with very little to show for it.

Looking back, our lives were filled with happenstance and short-range goals; suddenly even our spouses are strangers! It isn’t that our lives have suddenly become empty, it is that we have only now realized that our lives were empty all along, filled with distractions and happenstance, but devoid of any meaning or significance.

So we suffer a mid-life crisis, which consists of realizing only after half your life is gone that you never really began to live, that you squandered half your life on short-range goals and bad snap decisions that you cannot now undo.

What is the reason for this distress? Death. You see, no matter how much money you save up, someday you will die.

No matter how poor you are, someday you will die.

No matter how famous you become, someday you will die.

No matter how obscure you are, someday you will die.

No matter how chaste and pure you are, someday you will die.

No matter how well you live it up, someday you will die.

No matter how much power you have, someday you will die.

No matter how powerless and downtrodden you are, someday you will die.

It all comes down to that, doesn’t it?

Someday you will die. All the people who know you will die. Someday after that all the records of your existence will be lost and there will be no evidence that a person such as you ever existed.

Entire cultures, nations, and languages have been forgotten and lost in the sands of time: who can say that ours will not be one of them? It’s pretty distressing to think about it, so most of us bury ourselves in the concerns of our daily life to distract ourselves from the fact that we will someday die.

We whistle nervously down the path of life, we frantically immerse ourselves in activities. However, it doesn’t work: because finally, at some point in our lives, we may find ourselves in the same situation as my grandmother: very old, unable to see very well, unable to hear very well, unable to do very much with unsteady hands and fragile legs, but completely able to contemplate our mortality and the finality of our death.

The good news that the apostles brought to the world was that death is not the end. Sure, we will all die, but after that there will come a resurrection when God will judge us.

While in the past it may have seemed not to matter how we conducted our lives, it matters now, because even though we shall all die, it isn’t the end for us.

Today we are wont to say that the resurrection is a matter for blind faith, that it cannot be proved or corroborated, that it defies investigation, or that it is some sort of mystical spiritual reality. But that is not what the apostles taught.

Each and every person has certain needs and desires, which he/she would like to fulfill. Many a times some of these needs become difficult to accomplish due to a number of reasons. This develops a sense of helplessness and makes the person feel powerless to a certain degree. When this happens, the individual is very likely to feel inferior.

This feeling of inferiority occurs in everybody, some time or the other. It is quite normal and natural to have this feeling. There is nothing wrong in it. There are times when an individual may be able to overcome the feeling of inferiority, but it may also be resurfaced once certain new needs develop.

According to Alfred Adler, the feeling of inferiority develops due to the innate human tendency of striving for superiority. Each and every individual strives for superiority. This tendency is so overwhelming that as soon as there is some obstruction that comes in between the person and his/her needs then he/she begins to feel inferior.

It is a blessing in disguise to feel inferior because in a way it can help to move forward in life. The striving for superiority makes sure that the person puts in all his/her effort and work harder to fulfill his/her needs and overcome the sense of helplessness and powerlessness. Thus, the striving for superiority causes inferiority as well as helps in overcoming it.

It is alright if there is some control over the feeling of inferiority and it occurs within a certain limit. The problem arises when it becomes too pervasive. When the feeling of inferiority occurs too often and becomes persistent, then it may lead the person to develop into inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex makes an individual feel worthless and instills within him/her a sense of hopelessness. The person begins to feel that he/she lacks certain qualities and is inferior to others with respect to those qualities. Due to an inferiority complex, the normal feelings of incompetence get exaggerated, which makes the individual feel that it is impossible to achieve goals and/or have certain abilities.

For instance, an average or below average student might try hard to score well in his/her examination. Due to his/her continuous failure in doing that he/she might feel inferior to others and think that it is impossible to compete with his/her peers, which in turn makes him/her feel worthless.

Inferiority complex may not necessarily develop in the context of specific tasks or goals. It may develop for more general or abstract things also. For example, a person might feel that he/she is not very good looking compared to others and this might become the cause for inferiority complex for that person.

Likewise, if a person is unable to make friends then that person might feel that nobody likes him/her and that he/she lacks the qualities of having good friends. Also, if a person, compared to others, is confused about his/her goals in life then he/she might begin to feel insecure and think that he/she is good for nothing. This continuous feeling can cause an inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex can become a menace for the individual and can lead to many other problems. The person might develop a feeling of inadequacy. He/she might also have disappointment, dissatisfaction, depression, fearfulness, shyness, self-pity, insecurity, loneliness, withdrawal, etc.

If inferiority complex becomes too overwhelming and lasts for a longer period of time, there is a possibility that it may engulf the person in such a strong way that it gets fabricated into superiority complex. Superiority complex is nothing but an exaggerated form of inferiority complex. When a person develops too much of inferiority complex, then it turns into superiority complex.

In superiority complex, the individual feels that a good way to overcome inferiority is to make others feel inferior and thus become superior. For this, the person might become arrogant and aggressive in his/her mannerisms. He/she might try to show off and indulge into too much of self-praise and bragging. The person might also try to bully others to gain a sense of satisfaction.

The person does all this in an effort to regain his/her lost self-worth. He/she tries to seek the attention of others and pretends to be something that he/she actually is not. The individual tries to convince and prove himself/herself as well as others that he/she is not inferior. He/she also tries to think of himself/herself as someone who is highly valuable and probably the best.

Such a person might seem to be very confident from the outside. He/she might appear to hold a very high opinion of himself/herself. But, this may not be the case in actuality. The person is just trying to hide his/her shortcomings and tries to overcome his/her excessive feelings of inferiority.


This attitude is perceived as obnoxious and rude by others. By getting into such behaviour, the person might also be making a fool out of him/her. Others begin to extremely dislike him/her and try to stay away. This further exacerbates the feeling of worthlessness within that person. It may also lead to more and more aggressive behaviour or even chronic loneliness and depression.

The best way to overcome inferiority complex, according to Adler, is compensation. If a person feels that he/she lacks in a certain ability, then that person can try to develop strength in some other ability. The individual can enhance such skills that make him/her feel good about himself/herself and develop self-confidence. In this way, the person feels that it does not matter if he/she lacks in an ability because he/she is very good in some other ability.

For instance, a person who feels that he/she is not good in studies can become good in sports. A person who feels that he/she is not good looking can become very good in studies and other intellectual tasks. A person who feels that he/she does not have a good speaking ability can develop good skills in writing or painting. In this way an individual can compensate his/her lack of ability by developing and enhancing some other ability.

Another way to overcome inferiority complex is to have a high level of self-awareness. A high level of self-awareness will enable the person to know himself/herself in a much better way. Due to this an individual can recognize his/her strengths and weaknesses and work accordingly. If the person realizes his/her strengths and true abilities, then there is no way that the person could develop an inferiority complex.

Many people become too much sensitive about what other people feel or think about them. They begin to worry a lot about how others see them. This is completely unnecessary and a waste of time. Rather than worrying about what others are thinking, it is much better to focus on what we want to do.

An individual knows himself/herself better and if he/she goes according to others then there is a possibility that the person might get into things in which he/she lacks proper ability. This may cause constant failures and eventually lead to inferiority complex.

Comparing oneself to others also does no good to the person. If a person is good in something that does not mean that another individual also has to be good in that. The individual might have his/her own strengths and should focus on that. Trying to ape others can be misguiding and lead to insecurity, which may further develop into inferiority complex.

The feeling of inferiority can be a good thing for an individual until and unless it is not exaggerated. Inferiority complex is obviously something that can cause a lot of troubles to a person.

The longer inferiority complex stays the worse it gets. Therefore, a person should do his/her best to overcome it once he/she develops it. Rather than overcoming it would be much better if an individual uses his/her thought processes in an appropriate manner and try to dissociate himself/herself from inferiority complex as much as possible.

BORN TO BE SAD

Happiness is something that is desired by all. But, for some people that happiness becomes very difficult to achieve. No matter how happy they would like to feel, they are, most of the times, overpowered by the emotion of sadness.

For some people, sadness may occur without any reason. They are sad for no reason at all. This is because their brain and neural circuitry is developed in such a way that most of the times they are sad. Their brain is developed in such a way right from birth or very nearly from birth. Thus, in a way, it can be said that they born like this. They are sad, because this is the way they are.

The developments of brain imaging techniques in studying the brain have helped a lot in understanding such behaviour. Recent studies have found that sadness is associated with reciprocal increases in activation of limbic areas (brain areas responsible for emotions) and decreases in activation of frontal cortical areas (brain areas responsible for many cognitive and motor abilities). People who are melancholic have been found to have relatively greater levels of brain activity in their right frontal lobe (the front-right side of the brain). They experience negativity and sour moods. They are also easily fazed by life’s difficulties.



Research shows that the brains of depressed individuals look different from those who are not depressed. (Depression is not exactly sadness, but sadness is one of the major symptoms of depression. There are many other things related to depression).

People with depression seem to have brain abnormalities. Depressed people have a reduced volume in the frontal lobe (front side of the brain), the hippocampus, and the basal ganglia, all of which are brain regions that are involved in mood regulation. Research also shows that people who are depressed have lower levels of brain activity in the left frontal lobe (the front-left side of the brain) and higher on the right frontal lobe (the front-right side of the brain) compared to those who are not depressed.



Depression is also caused by a number of hormonal imbalances as well as imbalances in the level of some neurotransmitters (chemicals in the brain that the brain cells use to communicate). Studies indicate that depression is due to a malfunction of the hypothalamus, a part in the brain known to regulate mood. The hypothalamus produces many hormones. A malfunction in the hypothalamus causes an abnormality in the production of those hormones, which leads to a person being depressed.

Depressed people often have an abnormally low thyroid hormone levels. They also have enlarged pituitary and adrenal glands. Depressed people also have abnormalities in the neurons of the hypothalamus. Depression is also caused by low levels of the neurotransmitters, known as norepinephrine and serotonin, in the brain.

Apart from that, depression is also known to be genetic. People who have a family history of depression have a higher risk to be depressed compared to those individuals who do not.

Although some individuals develop these brain abnormalities right from birth or very nearly from birth, it does not necessarily mean that it will remain the same throughout life. A proper upbringing, socialization, and the right kind of environment may lead to changes within the patterns of the brain and make such individuals like any other person.

The sub-field of neuroscience known as neuroplasticity suggests that the brain can reorganize itself by forming new neural networks and thus changing the brain structure and neural circuitry in response to new situations and changes in the environment. The new emerging area of social-neuroscience suggests that proper interactions and healthy and satisfying relationships help in changing the whole brain structure, which leads the person to develop a positive attitude towards life.

However, this is not as simple as it may sound. People born with such brain abnormalities are highly vulnerable to stress and are extremely sensitive to even the slightest of disturbing situations. They get easily hurt and perturbed. Due to their high level of sensitivity, they get easily upset and are often misunderstood by others. This also, many a times, makes them unable to enjoy social situations as they would have really liked to do so. All this makes them really struggle hard to be happy. Because of this, they have put in a lot of effort to gain happiness. This also leads such people to deal with many other mental health problems.

Such people obviously require medication, psychotherapy, and social-skills training. But, this comes at a much later stage. Before that they need a lot of social and emotional support from friends and family. They need to be handled with a lot of patience and care.

Nobody in this world wants to be sad. Everybody wants to lead a happy and highly satisfying life. But, for some people this becomes very difficult. Happiness, for them, becomes almost unattainable. This is because some people are just born to be sad.

A true story about a student, a professor, and their interchange.

"A University professor at a well-known institution of higher learning in Germany challenged his students with this question. ‘Did God create everything that exists?’
One student bravely replied, ‘Yes, he did!’
‘God created everything?’ the professor asked.
‘Yes sir, he certainly did,’ the student replied.
The professor answered, ‘If God created everything, then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil.'
The student became quiet and did not respond to the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that religious faith was a myth.

A second student raised his hand and said, ‘May I ask you a question, professor?’
‘Of course,' replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, ‘Professor, does cold exist?’
‘What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?’
The other students snickered at the young man's question. The young man replied, 'In fact, sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.’

The student continued, ‘Professor, does darkness exist?’
The professor responded, ‘Of course it does.’
The student replied, ‘Once again you are wrong sir; darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present.’

Finally, the young man asked the professor, ‘Sir, does evil exist?’
Now uncertain, the professor responded, ‘Of course, as I have already said, we see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing but evil.'
To this the student replied, ‘Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold. It is a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light.’

The professor sat down.

The second young man's name: Albert Einstein.

Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling of the inability to have satisfying relationships. The person desires to be in intimate, long-lasting relationships, but is unable to do so. It is an unfulfilled need for intimacy.

Loneliness is experienced by all age groups, some time or the other, but it is most prevalent among adolescents. It is also highly prevalent among children, which is not very well known.

The experience of loneliness, depending on its intensity, is very disturbing and is accompanied with many other problems or difficulties.

A person who is lonely gets the feeling of being unwanted and rejected by others. Due to this the feeling of worthlessness begins to creep in within the individual, which eventually lowers the self-esteem of that person. The person begins lose self-confidence and there is a lack of self-belief within the individual. This lack of self-belief and self-esteem has a negative affect on various aspects of the individual’s life, including his/her academic performance.

The person starts to feel that there is no use of studying and that he/she is not going to gain anything by studies. The loss in self-belief makes the student feel that studying and getting good grades will not do any good for him/her. Gradually the student begins to lose interest in studies itself. The feeling of being unwanted and rejected has a severe affect on his/her academic interests.This ultimately, and obviously, leads to a decline in the student’s academic performance.

Loneliness also leads to depression. The inability to have good relationships makes the person dejected, morose, and completely saddened. Due to all this, the depression can be so severe that at times the person may have thoughts of committing suicide.

If this persists then the severity increases and the person becomes completely helpless. A kind of suffocation begins to develop. In such a mood, the person loses interest in absolutely everything in life and studying is one of those things. In fact, studies might be the last thing that the person would like to do. If the student does not study then it is very unlikely that he/she may academically perform well.

There is also a feeling of hopelessness that begins to develop within the individual. The individual might feel that he/she is going to fail in everything that he/she indulges into. Perhaps the continuous failure of being able to develop satisfying relationships is generalized in every other aspect of the person’s life.

In such a situation even if the student wants to study, he/she does not do so. The student feels that he/she lacks the ability to learn and no matter how much he/she studies, it is not in any way going to affect the scores in the examination. This makes the student not to study, which leads him/her to perform poorly academically.

Loneliness causes problems in sleeping. The person may develop abnormal sleeping patterns. The person may either have too much or too little of sleep. Both are harmful and can have severe effects on an individual’s lifestyle.

A disturbed sleeping pattern can make the individual feel lackadaisical and phlegmatic. This leads to an inability to concentrate. The person develops a short attention span and cannot focus on anything for a longer period of time.

This lack of concentration obviously comes in between the studies of a student. The student easily gets distracted, which inhibits his/her ability to learn and may also lead to irritability. Thus, the student cannot concentrate on his/her studies and therefore has a decline in academic performance.

It is obvious that a person who is lonely does not have anybody to talk to and share his/her feelings with. This means that a lonely individual lacks social support. Social support plays a major contribution in releasing any kind of stress.

The pressure to perform well in school, comparisons with high achieving students, unrealistic expectations, all can become very stressful for a student. A good social network helps a lot in releasing this stress. A small talk with friends before an examination does a great deal in decreasing examination phobia and fear of failure.

A student who is lonely does not have such privileges. Loneliness in itself is very stressful. All the other stressors added to the stress of loneliness can prove to be fatal for the student. In severe cases, it may also lead to a nervous breakdown. A lack of social support can, thus, have a severe affect on a student’s mental health, which has a direct negative effect on his/her academic performance.

It has been found that loneliness is a major cause for absenteeism in schools. A student who is lonely might have the feeling that he/she has nobody to talk to in school. This can be quite a saddening experience. Due to this, the student does not desire to go to school and prefers to stay at home. At home, the student will at least have his/her parents and siblings.

Being absent from school does not help as it causes a lot of loss in studies. Since the student does not have any friends, he/she has little information of what he/she has missed in the classroom. It becomes difficult to catch up with the other students because they do not have anybody to help them out.

Being regularly absent not only creates a bad impression among the teachers, but it also leads to a bad performance in the classroom and other activities, loss of important information, and ultimately a poor performance in examinations.

Loneliness can be a highly unpleasant and disturbing feeling. It is highly stressful, causes depression, and leads to many other psychological problems. It has a severely negative affect on every aspect of a person’s life. In a way, it almost ruins the whole personality of an individual.

Somehow, the effect of loneliness on a student’s academic performance has been ignored for reasons unknown. Perhaps its role in academic performance is not taken as seriously as it should be.

Teachers and parents should take special care in identifying the symptoms of loneliness in children and adolescents. Performing well in school is very important for students. A good academic performance becomes the basis for many of the future prospects of a student.

Teachers in schools should always try to have a good rapport with their students, so that students do not hesitate in talking to them about their problems. Similarly, parents should always try talk to their children and discuss about all their problems and issues with them. Especially in loneliness, a simple talk can prove to be of a lot of help.

Identification of loneliness and making necessary psychological interventions will prove to be very helpful for students. It will not only enable them to excel in their academic performance, but they will also excel in many other aspects of their life, in the present as well as in their future.

If a student performs poorly in studies, it may not necessarily be that he/she lacks in intellectual abilities. It is quite possible that the major reason for a decline in a student's academic performance is loneliness.

GOD

God has created me to do Him some definite service:

He has committed some work to me

which He has not committed to another.

I have my mission.

I may never know it in this life,

but I shall be told it in the next.

I am a link in a chain, a bond of

connection between persons.

He has not created me for naught.

I shall do good. I shall do His work:

I shall be a preacher of truth in my own place,

while not intending it,

if I do but keep His commandments and

serve Him in my calling.

Therefore, my God, I will put myself

without reserve into your hands.

What have I in heaven, and apart from You

what do I want upon earth?

My flesh and my heart fail,

but God is the God of my heart,

and my portion forever.

Emotional hijacking is a sudden unleashing of rage towards another person. It is an extreme emotional outburst or an emotional explosion caused by an incident that may trigger anger or fear in an individual.

Such incidents happen many a times. There are a number of situations in which a person might get angry or upset and without even thinking about anything he/she might just lose his/her cool and simply explode with emotions and attack the other person verbally or even physically. For instance, an individual might suddenly get extremely angry and begin to shout at his/her friend and even slur him/her. In an extreme case, a disgusted husband might suddenly get upset and beat up his wife badly. In more extreme cases, a person might kill another person with an outburst of anger.

Wife beating and killing a person due to emotional hijacking can be rare, but incidents of individuals quarreling with each other and in the process damaging a relationship are quite common. Such moments do not last very long, but the time that it lasts does enough damage. Most of the times, a person regrets getting into such an act.

Research shows that such emotional explosions are neural hijackings. In such a moment, a center in the limbic system (a part of the brain), the amygadala, the seat of all emotions in the brain, takes over the neocortex. The neocortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for our thinking. During this moment the neocortex stops functioning. The amygdala gets triggered and in an instant takes control of the brain, in a sense hijacking it. Thus, it is called emotional hijacking.

Emotional hijacking does not occur just like that out of no where. Usually certain past events that are disturbing to the individual keep building up resulting in the sudden emotional outburst. If a person is facing some problems for quite some time, they start playing on the mind and a moment may occur when he/she cannot take it any longer, which may result in the extreme explosion of emotions. A person may be too stressed out, or a person might be a bit angry for something that might have occurred before. In such a moment if something happens that further causes distress, then the chances of emotional hijacking to occur increase to a great extent.

Emotional hijacking takes place in an instant and by the time it gets over it can do a lot of damage to the person in many ways. If emotional hijacking keeps on occurring time and again then, it will have an immediate negative affect on the individual’s ability to have relationships as well as the quality of his/her current relationships. Emotional hijacking occurring too often in a person will give the impression to others of the individual being a loose cannon. People will begin to dislike his/her behaviour and may keep a distance from him/her. Likewise, his/her peers, friends, and others who are close to him/her may begin to dislike him/her, because nobody would like to be at the receiving end of a person’s extreme rage, especially when the person has a close relationship with them.

Emotional hijacking also creates a lot of negativity within the atmosphere. If a person due to an extreme outburst of anger shouts very loudly it has a bad affect on the mood of not only others, but also on the individual himself/herself. Such an emotional outburst is not at all good for the mental and emotional stability of the person. One incident of emotional hijacking can lead to a severe mood swing, so one can imagine what will happen if this happens very often. Such kind of behaviour will also increase the stress level of the person. In extreme cases it can cause high blood pressure and even heart problems. Therefore, emotional hijacking can have a very bad affect on a person’s mental as well as physical health.

Instead of facing the negative consequences of emotional hijacking it is much better to try to prevent it as much as possible. One way to do this is to try to reason and thus challenge the anger provoking thoughts. Emotional hijacking is more of an impulse driven reaction. The person should try to think before he/she reacts in such an aggressive manner and in a way try to hold back that impulse. He/she should try to channelize his/her thoughts to a more rationalistic way and try to bring down the level of anger. This is a very good way to counter emotional hijacking, but it is easier said than done. During an episode of emotional hijacking, a person becomes cognitively incapacitated. He/she almost loses the ability to think at that moment.

The best way to prevent emotional hijacking is to just move away from that place and go for a walk as soon as one realizes that matters can become worse. This works as a distraction from the anger provoking thoughts for the person. The person buys out some time, which helps in relaxation of thoughts and makes the individual calm down. In such a situation the left prefrontal lobe (the front-left side of the brain) of the person comes into being. When the anger provoking thoughts get distracted, the left prefrontal lobe, which is responsible for maintaining emotional balance, works as a counter mechanism towards the amygdala and dampens its affect on the brain. Thus, the person comes back to his/her normal and calm phase and is able to prevent emotional hijacking.

In situations like this, watching television or listening to music can also help in distracting one from anger provoking thoughts and thus make the individual calm down. Distraction from such thoughts also helps the person to get into a more pleasant mood. If a person goes out for a walk, he/she might find the surroundings pleasant, which will have a positive affect on the mood and make him/her happier at that moment. The same thing happens when a person begins to watch television or listens to music at that moment.

Other ways of preventing emotional hijacking is deep breathing and muscle relaxation. This helps in changing the body’s high arousal of anger to a low-arousal state. It also, in a way, works as a distraction from whatever triggered the anger.

It is very obvious that emotional hijacking is a very unpleasant phenomenon.The consequences of emotional hijacking are nothing but bad, be it on mood, relationships, or the overall health of the individual. A person should always try to be in a positive frame of mind and try to be as emotionally relaxed and calm as possible. The more positive frame of mind the person is in the more chances are that he/she will be away from emotional hijacking and the more chances are that he/she will be an emotionally healthy person.

XENOGLOSSY: IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE?

Xenoglossy is the alleged speaking of a language that is entirely unknown to the individual. The person has never heard the language before but still can speak it fluently as if it were his/her native language. In other words, if a person speaks an unknown language that has not been acquired by natural means then it is known as xenoglossy.

There have been a number of well documented cases in which people have been found to have xenoglossy. So far, none of them have been proved to be accurate. Its not that those were cases of fraud, but there have not been enough evidences to completely prove them. Linguists and Psycholinguists say that until and unless they have enough evidences they cannot accept the existence of xenoglossy.

Language is a system of symbols with rules for combining them, used to communicate information. Language development is the result of a complex process involving several aspects of learning, many cognitive processes, and perhaps various genetically determined mechanisms as well. Thus, speaking a language that a person has never heard or is not all familiar with seems to be something that is not possible.

There are a number of different views about how language is acquired. According to the linguist Noam Chomsky, language acquisition is partly innate. This view suggests that human beings are born with a language acquisition device (LAD), which is a built-in neural system that provides them with an intuitive grasp of grammar of their native language. Chomsky says that humans are prepared to acquire language and that the language acquisition device allows children to deduce the structure of their native language by mere exposure to it.

Another view suggests that there is a critical period for language acquisition. Critical periods are time frames during which environmental exposure is required to stimulate an innate trait during early childhood. According to this view, children acquire language during this critical period. Studies show that a critical period exists, but it does not mean that adults cannot learn a language perfectly.

The social learning view of language acquisition suggests that language is acquired through a combination of learning and imitation. According to this view, children are praised and rewarded by their parents and elders for making sounds that are approximate to those of their native language. Also, parents very often model sounds, words, and sentences for their children. All these together contribute to the acquisition of language.

The Relational Frame theory based on the social learning view also suggests that language is acquired purely through the interaction with the environment. It gives emphasis to the importance of predicting and influencing psychological events, such as thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, by focusing on manipulable variables in their context. Studies supporting this view suggest that children learn language through a system of inherent reinforcements.

There are other views that suggest language acquisition is a cognitive process that emerges from the interaction of biological pressures and the environment. According to this both the environmental and biological aspects must work together in order to allow language acquisition. This view argues that general cognitive processes sub-serve language acquisition and that the end result of these processes is language-specific phenomena, like word learning and grammar acquisition.

Similar to this is Slobin’s view of language acquisition. According to him children posses certain information-processing abilities or strategies that they use in acquiring language. These are known as operating principles and seem to be present or to develop very early in life.

The last two views show that language acquisition is something that is a lot more complex than it is believed to be.

All these different views/theories of language acquisition suggest how language is acquired by children and thus may not be very apt for explaining something like xenoglossy. However, these theories also suggest that exposure to a certain language is very necessary to acquire it, which further weakens the claims of xenoglossy.

Researchers of xenoglossy say that the exhibition of the phenomenon of xenoglossy requires paranormal explanations and are beyond the usual psychological processes. So far, the explanations given for xenoglossy are reincarnation or being possessed by another soul. These explanations are themselves not very sound and are hard to believe. The phenomenon of reincarnation is a very popular area in parapsychology, but so far nothing has been proved. And being possessed by a soul sounds to be something that is quite preposterous despite its never ending claims by a number of people.

Researchers also suggest that xenoglossy might not even have an explanation. It is something like many of the other miracles that have happened throughout the existence of life. But, to accept something there has to be ample evidence for it, there has to be some kind of logic behind it, without which it may not be possible to accept the existence of xenoglossy.

However, there are many things in this world that are beyond logic and beyond any possible explanations. There are a number of paranormal and supernatural phenomena that have no explanation whatsoever. Some believe in them and some do not. Xenoglossy may also be one of those.

As mentioned above, there have been well-documented cases of xenoglossy. Most of them cannot be denied, irrespective of the explanations given for them not being good enough. All this makes it is very difficult to say that whether something like xenoglossy is possible or not.

AN INTERVIEW BY REPORTER. HE SHARED HIS EXPERIANCE OVER BLOG.Lets Read it out..

AN INTERVIEW BY REPORTER. HE SHARED HIS EXPERIANCE OVER BLOG.Lets Read it out..

Life could have such a dark picture, I would have never realized it. About three years ago, in July 2005, I worked in a research project in which I had to interact with people who are stigmatized and marginalized.

The research project was about the self-esteem and health issues of six stigmatized groups, namely, the downtrodden, beggars, lepers, physically handicapped people, eunuchs, and widows (in some parts of India, being a widow is considered to be a taboo). I mainly had to interview the downtrodden, but later I was also assigned to interview beggars, lepers, and the physically handicapped people.

To interview the downtrodden I, with a group of people, had to go to the slums. I had never seen a place like this before. It was a totally different experience for me. Wherever I could take my eyesight, I could only see trash spread all over the place. My first reaction was that how could people live in such a dirty place. Within a few minutes of staying there, I could realize the extreme level of their poverty.

Their destituteness was clearly reflected in their behaviour. They were extremely needy and always expected to be helped by the people who are financially better than them and also who are on the upper strata of the society.

When I interacted with them initially, they thought I was a government official who had come to help them with some funds. When they realized that I had come for my own personal benefit and that I am not going to be of any help to them, some of them reacted with a lot of aggression. Despite that I, somehow, made them agree to give interviews. Initially they were a bit calm, but later I believe they got offended by some of my questions and got extremely angry. Some of them abused me with the foulest of languages. Once, if I had not left at the right time, I would have definitely been beaten up by the people over there.

I had also gone to the snake charmers society. I was shocked to see the conditions in which they lived. It is hard to express in words, the kind of condition they were living in. The whole ambience was quite frightening. They were all drunk and because of that their eyes became red. They were extremely loud in their behaviour. When I first went there, all of a sudden there was havoc created. When I sat down, I do not know why they all surrounded me and kept staring at me. One of the snake charmers tried to snatch my money and was extremely abusive in his use of language.

However, I was not at all offended by this kind of behaviour. Their behaviour clearly showed the kind of anger they had towards the society and the kind of frustration they had with their own miserable condition.

They lived in extremely dirty places with trash spread all over the place. They did not have clean water to drink. They used water from drains, ditches, and nullahs. They did not even have proper houses to live. They stayed in small tents made of recycled plastic. Inside the tents it is really congested and dark. Spending just ten minutes inside the tents became suffocating for me. The snake charmers lived in even worse conditions. They stayed under a bridge and the place was so dirty that one would feel like to vomit. It is not possible to believe that they actually lived over there.

Although some of the downtrodden behaved quite aggressively, many of them were very cooperative. They were happy to lend a helping hand and contribute in their own way to the study. They gave a detailed account of how they are mistreated by others and how they are looked down upon by other people in the society. They said that government officials and even NGOs always promise to help them, but they do not do anything at all. They also told that many a times the government announces funds to be given to them, but none of those funds reach them.

Most of them said that they are always abused and even beaten up by others and that they cannot do anything about that. They said that many a times people make them do a lot of work, but do not give any money to them in return. When I asked a young rickshaw-puller about how often has he been treated like an animal, he smiled embarrassingly and said that it happens all the time. The way he said those words really touched my heart. These people have been continuously humiliated and abused by others. It would not be an overstatement to say that their life is a living hell.

Interviewing the beggars was a big challenge, initially. It took me a lot effort to make some of them comprehend, properly, the questions that I asked. Probably their living conditions had made them incapable of having such a conversation. Like the downtrodden, the beggars also had always been humiliated by others. They told that they are always abused and at times even beaten up for very trivial matters.

The beggars used to gather at a place where they get food and other necessities from others. But, the people used to give them such things just for name sake. Usually people give beggars raw rice and pulses, but the manner in which they gave such things is extremely humiliating and disorderly. They give a fistful of either rice or pulses to each beggar. Rather than giving it to them properly and humanly, they just throw it while standing and do not even bother if it is falling in their bowl or its falling on the ground. Usually, most of it used to fall on the ground.

I was asking one of the beggars about the kind of food that he gets to eat. Immediately at the same time a woman came and threw some rice to him, out of which about three-fourth fell outside his bowl. He smiled and said that this is the kind of food that he gets.

It was nice to see a totally different side of beggars. Interacting with them made me realize that they are like any other individual. They also have families and they are also worried about the future of their children. Like any other person, they also have some unfulfilled dreams. Some of them were even cracking jokes with me. All this was something that I had never realized before about beggars.

Interacting with the physically handicapped people was a good learning experience. The way they led their life is really inspiring. They had accepted their disability without any complaints. They had a lot of self-belief and positive thinking within themselves and did not let their disability deter them in any way.

They said that they felt happy if people genuinely helped them, but did not like anybody to sympathize with their condition. They also disliked to be labeled as physically handicapped. They said that they do not really like the term and do not think of themselves as handicapped. They also said that due their disability they have to face a lot of struggle in their life, but they are prepared to fight it out even if it requires them to do so for the rest of their life.

While asking questions about their disability, I could clearly see their facial expression change to that of being a bit of disgust. I had to tell them that these are routine questions and that they should not take it in a bad way. I also apologized to them for hurting their feelings unintentionally. I felt bad when one of them said to me that my questions have made him realize that he is a physically handicapped person. But, on the whole they appreciated our (me and my colleagues) effort and felt happy for our concern towards them.

If interacting with the physically handicapped was inspiring, then interacting with the lepers was very disturbing and depressing. I had gone to a Christian Missionary hospital to interview the lepers. It was really sad to see the lepers suffering from the excruciating pain they had due to their disease. Their pain was so unbearable that almost every where, in the hospital, I could hear the patients moaning and crying.

Some of them said that they have been abandoned by their family and that nobody comes to see them. They said that now the hospital has become their home. All the lepers that I spoke to said that the pain, due to their illness, was so unbearable that they were eagerly waiting to die. Among all the patients that I talked to, I remember one of them, who was probably in his worst condition. Both his hands were infected and a lot of water was pouring out from his eyes. He could not even wipe the water that was coming out from his eyes. I could clearly see the kind of discomfort that he was going through because of this. As mentioned above, talking to the lepers was a very disturbing experience for me. I was truly badly affected by this experience for many days after.

The whole experience of interviewing the four different kind of stigmatized and marginalized people was a big eye opener for me. I always knew that such people existed. But, actually interacting with them and spending time with them was something different. I became more sensitive towards them. I could understand them in a better way and got a lot of awareness about their needs as well as the various problems that they face.

It has been more than three years now, since I worked in that research project. But, I still remember each and every detail of the happenings of that time. The anger and frustration of the downtrodden, the helplessness of the beggars, the struggle and fighting spirit of the physically handicapped, and the unbearable pain of the lepers, everything is still very clear in my mind. The whole impact that this had on me has changed me as a person to a great extent.

Ever wished your glassware could be stronger? Less breakable? Even unbreakable?
At some point in time everybody hears the unmistakable 'cling-clang' of glass falling and breaking, sometimes shattering into thousands of little pieces, or simply splitting into two or more chunks. It happens.
However, the familiar sound of breaking glass may eventually become something of a less familiar sound in the near future. The reason for this: an Alfred University researcher...

Dr. William LacCourse, a professor of Glass Science at the New York State College of Ceramics at Alfred University has developed a process which produces the highest strength glassware available today. Now the question is: is it affordable? Apparently, yes.
Dr LacCourse has been researching glass strengthening processes for more than 30 years.
He was quoted as saying: “No glass is unbreakable, but our process produces the highest strength glassware available today, and at price that makes it affordable. It has the potential to save restaurants, catering services and families up to 80 percent, and perhaps more, on their glassware costs. We have dropped glass bottles from 10 feet high onto a concrete floor, and the glass simply bounces.”
The strengthened-glass products can be poduced at a cost that will be competitive with other non-strengthened glass products.
Despite advances in new technology and materials, glass seem to have an endearing quality. Glass seems to remain a popular choice for many applications, and now that strengthened glass is becoming more accessable due to more cost effective manufacturing processes, mankind's love-affair with glass products seems likely to continue.

Boot Faster

The 'starting Windows 95/98' message on startup can delay your booting for a couple of seconds. To get rid of these messages go to c:\ and find the file Msdos.sys. Remove the Read-Only option. Next, open it in Notepad or any other text editor. Finally, go to the text 'Options' within the file and make the following changes: Add BootDelay=0. To make your booting even faster, set add Logo=0 to remove the Windows logo at startup.

Automatic Screen Refresh Tips

When you are working on your local computer and want to refresh any changes in your system automatically. For example some times you are watching sports results, online Stock Exchange rates and any changes to your hard drive but these changes are not usually refreshed until you press the F5 key on your keyboard.

To refresh your screen automatically you should edit your system Registry.

• Follow the given steps to change the updates automatically.

1. First click on Start button then type Regedit in Run option.
   
2. In Registry Editor panel go to the path
3. HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE / System / CurrentControlSet / Control / UpdateMode
4. Here in right hand side panel edit the DWORD value to be between 1 and 5
5. Now restart your computer after any changes to go into effect.

CREATE AN UNDELETEABLE FOLDER

There are many software's online by using you can protect your files and folders. I am writing a simple tutorial which will guide you to make an undeletable folders in Win Xp to protect your data.These folders can be deleted in Dos prompt only. So normal computer users will not be able to delete these folders.

Step 1 : Open Command Prompt (Start > Run > type 'cmd'). Then a command prompt will be appeared.



Step 2:Change to the directory in which you want to create your folder. Like c:\ d:\ etc. I changed to D:\ drive.

Step 3 : Now its time to crate an undeletable folder. Type md /aux/ and hit enter. It will create a folder named aux in drive D.

Step 4 : Go to D drive and try to delete folder named aux which we created just! It will give u following error.


Step 5: Try to delete in normal way, it will give you an error message whenever you try to delete it. There are many other names which you can use for creating folders.

• lpt1 to lpt9 ( Ex. md \lpt1\\ )
• CON
• AUX

How to delete this Folders ?

Go to Command Prompt. If you want to delete folder named aux then type rd \aux\ and press Enter. Thats it. This command will delete folder named aux.


Just give it a try and create an undeletable folders. Feel free to share your experience with your valuable comments!

Hack Admin Password from User Mode

Disclaimer: Use this article for educational purpose ONLY.

Follow these steps:
1. Open command prompt (Start->Run->cmd),
2. Enter the following command, and then press ENTER

3. Enter the following command, then press ENTER:
compmgmt.msc
This should open the computer management console.
4. Go to local users & groups->users. Right click on any user and select "set password".

If you get a "access denied" do the following:
start>run>cmd

Then use following commands

1) net user test /add (this command will make test named user)
2) net localgroup administrators test /add (this command will make test user as administrators rights)and use net user command to reset your admin. Password

SHUT DOWN UR PC IN 5 SEC..

Here is a trick involving tricking the PC do a “warm reboot,” rather than a “cold boot.” The trick involves holding down the SHIFT key when invoking the restart.

Windows Vista: Select Start, then click on the padlock button icon and from there, hold down the SHIFT key while clicking on the “Restart” choice.

Windows XP: Its pretty much the same. Select Start. Select “Shut Down…” Hold down the SHIFT key while clicking on the “Restart” button.

Thats it !!!

INCREASE YOUR INTERNET SPEED THREE TIMES..

Here is a trick which will increase your "Internet Speed" by 3 times.

Start --> Run type "Regedit" (without quotes)

Search to the following:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE-->SYSTEM-->CurrentControlSet-->Services-->Tcpip-->Parameters

Now on the right side search for the following:

“TcpWindowSize”
“Tcp1323Opts”

Click on both modify and change the value to "0" (Without quotes)

Restart your Pc to take effect.

How to undo it

Follow the same steps and change the value to "1" again (with quotes)

Also

Increase ur netspeed upto 20%

Increase ur netspeed upto 20%
Xp reserves 20% bandwith,
to unreserve it,follow following steps:
------------------------------------>>

1. Click Start

2. Run:"gpedit.msc"

3. Goto:>Local Computer Policy
-------–>Computer Configuration
-------–>Administrative Templates
-------–>Network–>QOS Packet Scheduler
-------–>Limit Reservable Bandwidth

4. Double click on Limit Reservable bandwidth

5. Select Enable

6. Change 20% to 0%

7. Click Apply

8. Close! n be happy!

How to block a website:

Follow to steps to block a website:

Click Start --> All Programs --> Accessories --> Command Prompt

Type "notepad C:/Windows/System32/drivers/etc/hosts" (without quotes)

Now notepad will be opened.

To block the website example google.com, Add the following text under 127.0.0.1 localhost:

127.0.0.1 yahoo.com
127.0.0.1 www.yahoo.com

Save the file. That's it !

Now how to unblock a website

Click Start --> All Programs --> Accessories --> Command Prompt

Type "notepad C:/Windows/System32/drivers/etc/hosts" (without quotes)

Now notepad will be opened search the lines: example

127.0.0.1 google.com
127.0.0.1 www.google.com

and deleted it. That's it !

You can add as many sites, However you will need to prefix it with "127.0.0.1"

Note: You can block a website from your browser also but this is an advanced method not many will be knowing it :)

For the past 11 years, Bluetooth technology has played a very significant role in the way we transfer data between our electronic devices, and now Bluetooth technology will be getting an even faster version.
The new Bluetooth 3.0 + HS is said to have transfer speeds of approximately 24Mbps. That is up from the current 3Mbps for the 2.0 + EDR version, which means the new version will be approximately 7 times faster than the current version.

This is likely to open up a whole new range of applications for the nifty little device. As might be assumed, computer and mobile manufacturers are already showing interest, but that's not all: The device is also attracting attention from television manufacturers.
Bluetooth 3.0 + HS will not only boast an increased transfer rate, but it will also run on a more energy efficient system, thus saving mobile devices power that have the device installed. One could call this an evolution of sorts. Imagine your mobile device, whether it be a laptop or a mobile phone transferring data files like photos and music up to 7 times faster, yet using less power. That's efficiency.
It is estimated that Bluetooth 3.0 + HR should be available within about a year, so we should see the device making its way onto the market during, or just after, the 1st quarter of 2010.
It seems that Bluetooth technology is one of those technologies that are likely here to stay, given its worldwide use.
Bluetooth is widely used in electronic and mobile devices such as mobile phones and laptops, and gives the user the ability to wirelessly transfer large files such as music or media between two compatable devices without the need to connect the devices with a cable or connecting wire.